My parents have been constantly arguing for the last few months, every argument ending with the slamming of the front door and a loud wail of sobbing, and today my dad has finally packed up and left. I guess it’s the natural progression because I’ve witnessed first hand the decoration of what was once a loving, best friends forever, relationship into anger, suspicion, petty mind games and finally destruction.

 I guess I’m sort of relieved that it has finally happened because they were both miserable but, hello, ow.

I think it was partly my fault. I bought them Little Britain tickets for the 20th Anniversary which, I don’t know, put a sort of end date on it? I don’t know how it works but now what is left over is two Little Britain tickets that they’ve given back to me. Want them? I hardly want them.

I’m so confused because this sort of thing happens to other people. We’re a happy family. Now I’m just angry at them for being so weak and unable to sort it out themselves. And I’m angry at myself for being so useless. My brother doesn’t even know yet. He’s staying with our cousins and hasn’t come home yet. He’s the sensitive one so I have to be the big sister and look after him.

It just isn’t fair at all. Or maybe it is. Maybe now they can be happy. I’m 18 and going to University next year so I think I’ll just sort myself out then. For now I’ll just try and hold everyone together and sort out their lives. On top of all my homework. I’m not in the mood.

End of an era? I dunno. I don’t care, to be honest. It is their problem and doesn’t affect me right now. Now I just feel sick and dead inside.

Excuse me, I have a massive Spanish article to translate.

Wow, what a beautiful country we live in. All the green... covered in rain. Lots of very wet trees, a soggy dog or two and a lot of very, very damp people. I love it, though. I prefer the rain to the sun for some strange, yet possibly wonderful reason. It is much more calming.

 I went to Coleraine yesterday for a wee nosey. It was great, although I still prefer Queens. Coleraine is definitely University number two. We spent about an hour looking around the place and the rest of the day walking about Coleraine and enjoying the atmosphere. It was very nice and peaceful, completely different to Belfast with its hustle, bustle and very “have to work, have to do well” attitude. I did like Coleraine accommodation although, to be perfectly honest, I wouldn’t be happy in the slightest sharing my stuff with five/six other people. I’d rather go to Queens, live at home and have my mummy there to look after me.

 Meh, University choice is tough.

Despite my A in the exam, I got predicted a B in English which I thought was slightly odd although I can see their reasoning. I got 270/300 which is 30 marks over the A boundary so, not to sound in any way arrogant, I think I was really expecting to get an A predicted. I personally have a theory that they think my obvious dislike of English will, in some significant way, make me do badly. I mean, to be fair, I don’t do anything. I just sit for the entire year, staring into space until the exam when I don’t do a hell of a lot but always do well just because I can read, analyse and communicate in a sensible and coherent way. It is true, I really do dislike English but I’m pretty good at it. And my friend, Sarah, got predicted an A despite the fact I got a higher mark than she did in the exams. She works hard, though. I really, really don’t.

It sounds kind of petty and childish, especially given the fact I only need an ABB to do my course and I have AABB, as well as not liking the subject, but I have always believed that if you do well you should be rewarded accordingly. I did do well, I got 100% in a paper, and still am expected to only achieve a B. It really puts a dampener on your spirits. It just makes me feel like I’m working for nothing now.

Except, of course, I’m going to get an A and prove them wrong. In fact, I rather prefer it this way. It knocked me off my high-horse but I’m climbing my own way back up.

(Not that I need it and not that I care but it is the principle behind the thing.)

I also had my first class with the Spanish assistant. Her name is Lucía and she is from the Asturias region. She was lovely, although she spoke much faster than the assistant from last year, but I don’t think it was impossible to understand her. I actually understood most of what she was saying, although I couldn’t remember how to reply. Her first question was “How old are you?” to which I replied, smugly and brilliantly “28”. It really broke the ice, though. She laughed for ages while I was trying to stick my head under the desk and die. It happened last year too. Why do I exist only to make Spanish people laugh as I try, and fail, to speak their language? I digress, she was lovely. She really was prepared and I think that I’m pretty much willing to take the challenge of this year. Apparently I speak very well, very clearly and very poshly, just not very quickly or sparklingly.

I planned my holiday in History using a 1919 map showing the territorial gains after the war. I felt strange and yet ever so hexagonal.

 I, somehow, got roped into writing an Agony Aunt column for the senior school magazine in a fake, sarcastic and hopefully witty way. I also seized power in an obvious way which Jimmy, the chairperson, wasn’t too chuffed about. Bloody people. If they don’t want to do it then don’t do it. Don’t just sit in the meeting, moan, bitch and make it dull for the rest of us. Yes, we know that our Year is hardly going to appreciate the finer details of the Labour leadership contest despite how entertainingly and satirically we present it but, in the name of all things sensible, have some self-belief. It is their loss if they are too thick to understand it.

I’m someone who commits 100% or gives nothing. I can’t understand when people lose faith and become deluded half-way through something important. If it is worth doing, kids, it is worth doing fantastically.

Cynical?

Overachiever?

Bossy?

Organised?

All or nothing?

Punctual (to a fault.)?

Critical?

Arrogant?

All of the above?

Going. To. Need. Therapy. One. Day. Soon.

Argento.

I actually wasn’t going to blog today because my new resolution is not to blog everyday (because then I don’t feel itchy when I can’t blog) but I’ve finished all of my homeworks and I’m just about restraining myself from doing all of next weeks ones too.

If you believe that, you’ll believe anything.

I watch The Last Night Of The Proms last night, a tradition in my house except I am the only one who continues to do it. I absolutely love everything about the Last Night. The music is spectacular, as always, but it is even more so on the last night because I actually know a few of the songs.  Pink Panther theme tune, Star Wars theme tune, Pirates of the Caribbean theme tune....  Toreador, Carmen, Moscow Nights, Londonderry Air, Land of Hope and Glory, Rule Britannia, Jerusalem, The Little Naval tune that gets faster and faster, Londonderry Air (Oh, Danny Boy), Auld Lang Sang and, of course, The Queen. I love it, I love the proud waving of the Union Flag, the common people doing the bouncy beside the rich, the silly string everywhere and the conductor trying to be funny but really, really isn’t. It is the one night of the year when I sit and happily conduct the orchestra with my remote control without feeling like an idiot.

It scared me ever so slightly to see this gorgeous, leggy blonde playing the trumpet. Her name is Alison Balsom (or so the website tells me) and she is utterly gorgeous. She is the Britney of Classical Music. I mean, don’t misunderstand me, she was pretty nifty with the trumpet but when the world of Classical Music has to find its own Britney Spears to satisfy the males in the audience I panic slightly. But hey, Ladies do not fret... We had CHICO to gawk at. CHICO?!?! Oh in the name of all that is pure and wonderful in the world, please, please, please tell me I dreamt that Chico was at the Hyde Park Last Night Of the Proms.

I don’t understand why Classical Music feels it needs to have a modern appeal and I despise the term ‘dumbing down’ but... when the shoe fits. Surely people should have the intelligence to appreciate the wonderful music without feeling the need to gawk at whomever they decide is pretty enough to be on stage. I can’t fathom why people need to base their decisions on musicians on their looks. It hardly matters.

Although, saying that, Hello Vittorio Grigolo!

You know, I actually don’t know the words to Londonderry Air. I know the first line (Oh Danny boy... The pipes, the pipes are calling.) and then I’m lost. It is a disgrace.

Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side
The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.

But come ye back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow
'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow
Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so.

And if you come, when all the flowers are dying
And I am dead, as dead I well may be
You'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an "Ave" there for me.

And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me
And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be
If you'll not fail to tell me that you love me
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.

I’m preparing for next year.

I actually spent the day today researching the US government and, I must say, it is thoroughly interesting. I mean, I gather a lot of you are Americans so you know so much about your Constitution and things but I don’t so I’m easily fascinated. (Although saying that, I would gather that very few people would know the Good Friday Agreement in as much detail as I do!)  President Clinton really got around, didn’t he? I’d love to smack President Bush for vetoing the stem cell research bill. How on earth does he expect America to progress without such important research? Urg, religious people stress me. I just don’t understand how a country that guarantees religious separation from State can be so badly influenced by religious tradition.

Americans are lucky. We have to study Christianity as a compulsory subject. (Well, ‘Religious Studies’ but it is the same as we covered nothing from any other religion) It is pretty much a drag (I was actually quite good at the theoretic stuff) but I would argue against completely banning it, which I did do in our Parliament building (Called Stormont) in March during a cross-community, quasi-political debate.  Power to the people and all that jazz.

Who knows, maybe one day I’ll stop being so sarcastic?

Argento.

You don’t need to know a lot about me to be transported into the world which I call home because, hey, I’ll tell you all on the way. I can’t stop talking, I’ve got the so-called gift-of-the-gab, associated mainly with my people, The Northern Irish.  Really, I ramble a lot but only when writing.

I love writing but I’m not very good at it. Well, I write non-fiction better because I’m a very Spade Is A Spade sort of person and I have a lot of practice doing more A-Levels than I can possibly count, and having most of them essay-based really gives me the desire practice. Sorry, I’m bitter and horrible.

Yes, so... I’m 18 and I live in Northern Ireland, Belfast to be precise. I love it here, there is definitely no better place on earth. I mean, I’ve visited so many places and I’ve seen so many things and still I cannot find anywhere that makes me happier than living in this place with such a history of violence and death and stuff. It is the people of Northern Ireland that make it such a place to live. We walk around and actually talk to each other in the middle of a busy city centre because, hey, why the hell not? No matter what happens, we keep fighting for what we believe in. We persevere harder than any other group of people on this planet and we work hard to get what we want. Take the latest football match... Northern Ireland beat Spain. SPAIN. Can you believe that? We scored a hat-trick against the mighty Spanish. Us! Wee, tiny, insignificant little Norn Iron beat Spain. Why? We wanted it more. We’re not Brazil.... We’re Northern Ireland.

Yes, I love my country. Every last bit of it. Most people hear Northern Ireland and look at you in pity, due to the 30 years of Civil War, but they don’t live here so they can hardly comment. We’re the best.

I’m also female and pretty proud of that fact. I utterly love being a woman and I actively despise all men. Yes, even you. I’m not gay (not that it would be a problem if I were... I’m just not) but I just hate and resent men. They get it so much easier than we do and have the gall to tell us what to do. Sanctimonious bastards. I’m very feminist and very much a fully empowered woman.

Eighteen and still not been drunk? God, I’m a freak of nature. No, not really but still people give you funny looks. I don’t drink, or smoke, or do any sort of drug. I don’t even dance. I pretty much am 18 going on 58... And I’m proud of the fact I don’t need any substance to have a good time. Maybe I’m just a better, more interesting person?

Nah, that can’t be it.

I have quite a boring life, no joke. I spend my time observing everyone else and figuring out what their lives are like so I don’t have to question my own. I’m happily wasting my life with a sleep, wake up, go to school, come home, rinse, repeat as necessary routine. I never do anything interesting, excepting one or two moments of utter insanity, so please don’t expect too much from my blog.

I blogged for a full 2 years, every day, until I decided I needed a change of scenery and so I’m here. I always have proper spelling and grammar. I violently hate people who continue to use ‘text speak’ outside a text message (and even my text messages are in flawless English.) and believe they should be hung, drawn and quartered for what they’ve done to our beautiful tongue.

I also speak Spanish so... Hola, I’m sorry for butchering your language.

I’ve got a load of friends, as shocking as that may be to understand. I hate the fact that I need them but I do, seriously. I’m weak and all of that jazz. Actually I hate being perceived as being weak, true fact. I spend a lot of time trying to be inhuman and strong but even I fall sometimes.

I’m a proud, disagreeable sort of lady. Sorry, I’m sarcastic and bitter too. Really, don’t bother with me.

Yeah.

Currently studying A2 levels in History, Politics, English Lit and Spanish. I hope to become a History/Politics teacher so I drool over both subjects to an insane degree. I’m very politically minded, although I have difficulty finding a political ideology that suits my needs. I’ll just create a new one.

I’m also anti-religion and believe it is a step-backwards for humanity to still be bound by religious traditions that should have stopped a long time ago. I’m a pure and simple atheist who has studied Christianity and Paganism (and it’s various branches) for years with little knowledge of other religions. I’m always willing to learn, however, if you feel the need for a little religious debate. I hate that I’m defined by my non-religious stance because it doesn’t affect me on a daily basis to not pray or to not have a wee word with a wee mate of mine who may or may not exist but, you know, people think it is weird and like to challenge me on it. Feel free, just come prepared.

I suppose that is all you really need to know about me. I’m hardly wonderful and am very prone to making many mistakes which I’ll moan about for no-ones pleasure but my own. I blog for therapy because it makes me feel good to get things off my chest. I publish my blogs because maybe other people can gain some insight into my type of person or at least they’ll get amused by my utterly soulless existence.

I’m an INTJ. Sun sign is Cancer, Moon sign is Aquarius and Rising sign is Leo, with a Mercury and Venus lodged snugly in Gemini. I was born in the Year of the Dragon. Favourite colour is red. Favourite food is pasta. Have a pet snake called Lucius. Like to read, a lot.

And I’m all done.

Argento.